Love Potions - Need something to perk up your romance? Then try some of our wonderful love potions....

Monster Love, Monster Breath

Don't kill your love with bad breath...

Pungent garlic, delicate onions and heavenly nacho cheese corn chips go well with anything! Except.......romance.

Scenario:

Brad inadvertently ate a wagonload of garlic pizza bread for lunch. A behavioral analyst would have assumed that Brad was gearing up to fight vampires for the evening, rather than going home to make hot romance with his true love, innocent - sweet smelling Susan.

The afternoon flies by, and suddenly Brad is home, with Susan. The romantic stage is set - flickering voile candles, champagne on ice and Susan splayed out like the Mc Donald arches, ready to heat up the night with romance.

Brad gazes into her misty blue eyes, noting the sheen of her hair, which is partially attributed to the flickering candles that are stationed about their love station. Suddenly, the romantic mood hits Brad and he passionately proclaims, "My darling, Susan! How do I love thee, my little kumquat!!"

The stench of Brad's lunch breath besieges the bedroom and everything suddenly goes dark, the candles suffocated by the intoxicating fumes of Garlic Wonder.

Somehow, Brad switches on a light to find that all the ice surrounding the champagne has melted, as well as Susan's shiny hair and face. The silk of Susan's negligee and her skin are as one.

Romantic Cover Ups

- Breath mints and sprays just won't clear out Garlic Fog. It's a bit like spraying Kitty's Box with a cheapo air freshener. The only way to get rid of odor is to remove odor.

- Brushing and flossing won't help you much either. The rotting garlic lies deep within your belly, rising up and out as you speak and breathe. It's worse than a Nessie attack.

- Gum. Even if this technique killed Demon Garlic Breath, would you want to chew gum during one of the most potentially romantic evenings of your life? Not very sexy. It's just too shrew-like for comfort.

What May Work for You

- Chlorophyll capsules/caplets work pretty well, but have a tendency to be hard on the gut. They can be a bit pricey, too, depending on point of purchase. Chlorophyll is praised for its ability to absorb stench from the inside out and may work for you.

- Gas Mask -- perhaps your lover's best mode of protection! The Plus: Either lover can wear the mask, the offender or the offendee.

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