Castles of Myth & Men, A Yummy Medieval Story

Long ago and far away, in a castle above the clouds, lived a beautiful princess named Helena.

The castle lay within a boulder's throw of the beach and oft times Helena would get a pounding migraine that even Tylenol B.C. couldn't touch. During these attacks, her Kingly father tried cheering her up by calling the Court Jester to perform ridiculous antics, which Helena didn't find the least bit amusing.

What seemed to cheer her more than anything (other than gold and frankincense) was her faithful boyfriend, Jerkules.

Jerk looked pretty good sitting on the back of his decorated horse. The metal armor of the steed glistened and complimented Jerk's sheath - the sheath that held his large knife.

Jerkules was well known throughout the kingdom. He had many forest friends, including a special centaur friend named Pooten who liked to follow him in the forest. Jerk was kind-hearted and really didn't mind Poot tagging along the trail with him. Poot loved to play a pan flute and that seemed to add to the day when things became dull every now and then, as tends to happen in the real world.

One autumn day, Helena was suffering from the mother of all headaches. Her father had called in the Court Jester, but the bells on top of the Jester's head sent Helena's headache soaring higher into her skull. The pounding was almost more than she could bear.

It was all Sea's fault! Waves rolling in, out, in, out - crashing along the shoreline. Helena was so distraught that her father sent for Jerkules to help calm his stressful daughter. Helena patiently waited and waited and waited for Jerk to put in an appearance. The waiting was terrible, much worse than the line at Wal-Mart last Saturday when she'd went to market to purchase three kumquats for a breakfast pudding.

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