Marriage Made in Heaven
Does your mate serve you breakfast in bed, complete with fresh squeezed orange juice? Is there some personally churned butter included? Is there an ironed newspaper on the tray? A napkin folded in the shape of a swan?
Yes? Then you probably have a marriage made in heaven….
A new relationship generally begins so perfectly! You are perfect; they are perfect; the world is perfect; the entire universe is perfect! All those silver-tongued words spoken to one another, so beautiful, so divine! "He's so giving. She's so good-natured. He is the greatest guy in the world. What did I do to deserve her?"
Time marches on. The shine on the armor dulls. The crown on the princess tarnishes. The romance takes on a different cloak and with it, so many things vanish. Those breakfasts in bed, dinners by candlelight, cocoas in front of the roaring fireplace - gone!
Time is only one facet of life that diminishes the intensity in some relationships. Perfection is another.
Perfection drowns our daily lives. It is very difficult to be a normal human being when we are continually compared with all of the super-people that society has chosen for us to model our lives after. If everyone had the benefit of a great hairstylist, make-up artist, physical trainer, or fashion designer, we would all look spectacular too!
This brings us to the 'pressure point'. We feel pressured to be a 'Super Parent', a perfect mate, the most righteous Christian, to have the fittest physique, and to be the most valuable employee. Perfectionism effects every angle of our lives from the spiritual to the paternal, and it can have a tremendous effect on a marriage.
Expectations take reign and can control the relationship. So, how much should be expected from a relationship? Unfortunately, many times love is not enough. Some people expect much more from their mates.
This does not specifically stem from society's mold. Expectations can originate from many sources, such as insecurity from an undesirable past. Old demons are very easily resurrected. Demands in a relationship can also revolve around a lavish childhood. This overflow is extremely difficult to deal with. Other things that can govern our expectations are personal conceptions, spiritual beliefs, and even the way we prefer a task to be performed.
The best relationships are those that allow mates to have their own identity without being smothered or overwhelmed by their partners. Many times, the very thing that attracted someone as a mate, becomes destroyed in that person after the relationship ensues. Too many times, people try to change people into something they want them to be rather than allowing that person to just simply be themselves.
The best relationships are also filled with love. Love is give. Love is take. Love is understanding. Love is kind. Love is true. Love is honest. Love never lies. Love is steadfast. And true love never expects more from anyone else than they are willing to give themselves.
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